Interview with Laurie Puhn, author Instant Persuasion
1. What experiences in your own life drove you to write “Instant Persuasion”?
I was working as an attorney and professional mediator when I discovered that persuasion is not just for lawyers. Persuasion is happening all the time. Every time we talk to someone we are persuading that person to like or dislike, listen to or ignore, respect or disrespect and cooperate or argue with us. People often think they have no control over what other people think of them. But that’s not true. We have control over the words that come out of our mouth and it is those words that impact what people think of us and how they respond to us.
As a mediator I became aware of common “communication blunders” that instantly persuade people to become resentful, distant and angry. Meanwhile I also heard people make certain “communication wonders” that would create instant cooperation and respect. It became clear to me that the words we choose—whether we’re apologizing, complaining, agreeing, disagreeing, delivering a compliment, or asking for a favor—can make the difference between understanding and misunderstanding, connection and disconnection, getting what we want and watching it slip away. In my book, Instant Persuasion, I share the blunders and wonders through entertaining real-life stories so that readers can find out what they’re saying right, and fix what they’re saying wrong.
2. We learned that you implemented a few of your own rules to successfully gain your book deal. Personally, is there one rule that you find harder to obey than others?
One of the critical Instant Persuasion rules that I employ every day is “Earn Your Favors.” I’m sure you can think of someone you know who calls you only when he or she needs a favor from you. This person makes you feel like a resource and you don’t want to be friends with him, let alone do him a favor. But we all need favors some time. There are many people who helped me on my path to success, including Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz. I discovered that there is a right and a wrong way to ask for a favor.
It is a communication blunder to call someone for a favor out-of-the-blue. Instead, you want to use a communication wonder to call someone when you do not need anything from the person. You want to make it a habit to use every day as an opportunity to reach out to a former boss, a long-distance friend or a professor who you haven’t spoken to in a while. This may seem like it’s a hard habit to create, but after a while you begin to see the results and the habit becomes easier and easier. Your network of friends grows and more people will support you and help you to achieve your personal and professional goals.
3. How can managers and future managers implement advice from your book? Can you share one communication blunder and its related communication wonder for someone who is trying to give employees feedback?
The purpose of giving criticism is to motivate someone to change for the better. The key word is “motivate.” We cannot force other people to change, but we can inspire them to want to improve. That’s why it is a blunder to go straight for the criticism when you give feedback. An employee who is only told what she did wrong is persuaded to become defensive and ignore the criticism. She might think to herself, “My boss doesn’t notice anything good that I do, so why should I waste my time trying to get improve the quality of my work?”
The best way to give feedback is to give a compliment before the criticism. For instance, a boss might complement the first part of a report and then explain what was wrong with the second part. This way the boss appears fair and balanced and the employee will think to herself, “I will take the time to revise the report because my boss appreciates the good work that I do.” Sometimes employers think that a salary is enough of a reason for an employee to work hard. But that’s not true. Money is necessary, but not sufficient. People are motivated to reach their potential when they are recognized and appreciated for their good work.
4. Babson has many students looking for internships and jobs this time of year. How is your method applicable for someone looking to secure their ideal position?
The Instant Persuasion method is perfect for someone looking for a job. One of the most important rules is called “Prepare Your Evidence.” This means that it is a blunder to walk into an interview without preparing a list of concrete, specific reasons why the employer should want to hire you for the job. Imagine the interviewer as a jury deciding your fate. Think about what aspects of your personality and prior work experience would persuade this person to want to hire you. You will want to put together a bullet point list of evidence proving that this is the job for you. Know your list well, keep it hidden in your pocket for confidence, and walk into the interview prepared to share your evidence!
5. After hearing you speak, what do you want attendees to leave with other than a copy of “Instant Persuasion”!?
Attendees will become aware of the power of words and how to use their innate power of persuasion to their advantage. The ability to say the right thing at the right time with honesty and integrity is an essential skill for success in life. When you know how to win people over, everything you want is at your fingertips, from career advancement to strong friendships, from favors to a lasting marriage, from receiving invitations to obtaining financial rewards. We cannot get those things by ourselves, nor can money buy them for us. Instead, we must find opportunities to use our persuasive skills to positively engage people and motivate them to help us achieve our goals. For more information about Instant Persuasion and the Laurie Puhn Institute, please visit To purchase Instant Persuasion, visit Amazon.com
